I was at a wonderful online course last week called ‘The Boundaried Life’ by Katherine Purcell – check her out at KP therapy on Instagram; she’s got so much wisdom to bring! The whole evening was full of gems to live your life by, but one principle she shared really stuck with me.
Your pet peeves point to your core values.
Let me explain. Often when we find ourselves saying yes to things we don’t actually want to say yes to, it’s because we don’t have a strong sense of our core values.
Many of us never take time to think about the principles that actually motivate our choices and decisions. But when we find ourselves burnt out it can sometimes be because:
1) We’ve never reflected on what should be guiding our decisions, or
2) We are struggling to balance the inward tugging of two or more things that we really value.
So here’s how it might look.
One of my biggest peeves is laziness, which points to how much I value productivity. Problem is, one of my other core values is meaningful relationships. So sometimes my desire to be productive in tasks conflicts with my desire to spend time with the people I love. At Christmas, I really enjoy making little gifts for the wonderful people in my life, but sometimes I get so busy doing that, my quality time with those very people is affected. The answer? Simplify, or start putting together presents much earlier. (I Haven’t quite mastered this tension yet, by the way 😂)
How about you?
😡 Maybe your pet peeve is rudeness, in which case one of your highest values is respect.
😡 Or, if you detest snobbery, you may well cherish equality.
😡 If you don’t like people who break the rules, perhaps you really value structures and authority.
😡 If you really struggle when people are distracted by their phones, you may well esteem quality time above a lot of other things.
😡 If undone dishes, disorganised drawers etc really stress you out, you are a person who thrives on order, and is in tune with their environment.
😡 If you can’t condone lack of initiative, you prize self-motivation and taking the lead.
What do your pet peeves say about you? How can you avoid getting frustrated and burnt out?
Maybe you could think about what your core values are and how they could affect what you choose to say yes to in the future.
Or perhaps you could brainstorm new ways to balance out things that are important to you in your life.